It sucks. Pressure sucks. Being an only child, pressure is all on me. Not only from my parents but relatives. Also strangers who know that I'm an only child. They keep thinking, my parents attention is all on me so I should be good and do great and be amazing. It's true that my parents are amazing and yeah they put attention on me and I'm forever grateful. But what if I don't want to do the things they want me to do? I already did, just haven't finished it yet. It's to have my Bachelor's Degree.

I got my Associate's Degree in Science last May. My major is Civil Engineering. I did 2 years in the Philippines and 2 years here in USA. I should've been finished if we stayed in the Philippines. I could still studying in Arkansas to pursue Bachelor's but no, we moved to California. Who can I blame? Whatever my parents are doing moving from places to places, it is for the greater good. But I'm exhausted. Transfer, then again and now I'm pressured.
For 21 years living in this crazy world, I learned that I easily get bored. And it's bad I guess but it's who I am. It also doesn't mean that I'm a lazy lady. I have plans. Clearer than before. More planned out compare to 4 years or even a year ago. Why? Because I'm learning. Not from only from college but from my experiences and myself.
As of now, I do not want to study again. I know I can finish it within a year but I just don't want to. I wanna work, I don't care if it's not even half of the rate of the work I might have if I have Bachelor's but I just don't want it. I don't wanna waste money and time and my mind learning again. I need a break. Or that's just it, I don't know. Engineers that finish their college late keeps telling me, it's worth it, I'm glad I came back to school. Good for them, Maybe I'll be like that in the future. But now, I don't know. All I know is I wanna work, earn, buy what I want for my plans while do things that are interesting. I know I may not have the money if I finish it, but I have a plan. And I feel good about it.

I do not need to be the great and amazing only child. I just wanna be good and happy. What's the purpose of handwork if you don't like what you're working on?
Sorry for rambling. It just sucks having parents pressuring you to finish what you don't want to. They haven't ask me if I want to come back. Don't get me wrong, I love them to death and again I'm forever grateful. I just don't want to come back. I have plans. That's why sometimes, I wanna move out on my own. I know I can, but then they'll be sad because I'm alone. And keep telling me, If you buy a house, be close. So what can I do?


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