That's Why

Written on December 23rd of 2015.
(December 21st was just a draft which has nothing)

16th day in the process of moving on. The other day, our group in high school had a Christmas party. They exchanged gifts and ate dinner, etc. I know about it because he told me their plans before we broke up. And when we did, I did not tell a lot of people, only 4 at the time. This past 2 weeks, 2 groups had known that we broke up and it's because they asked me how are we doing. It was my cousin and workmate. If they spread the news about us, that's when it becomes a group.
I was afraid. Afraid to let my friends pity me. Especially if it's for the same reason again and again. I know I'm sensitive deep down my aggressive personality but usually I don't want anybody to pity me. Knowing the group met for the party, I was lost of who to talk to or what to say once they ask questions or start messaging me asking if I'm alright. Nobody did. So I asked one member of our group if he said something about us. Hi Lhen! If you're reading this, Thank You for last night. The 5th person that I told about this break up, and hoping the last because I don't wanna make a big deal out of this with everyone I know. Lhen and I talked how stupid men is. Sorry, not sorry. If you're guilty, then stupid, you must be. We talked how men, no matter what women do, will never be contented and will never stop looking at others. 

Let's go back a few months before.
1. I was having dreams. Bad ones. You know what's it about? Me and him. Breaking up. Him leaving me. This did not happen once or twice, many times. More than I can count. And every time I woke up, I felt my world just crashed down. Even if we broke up 3 times before this recent one, it's still feels the worst. When I messaged him Good Morning, because we did that every day and I mentioned my dream, he'll just say it's just a dream. I always ask afterwards, you're gonna be with me right? He answers yes, I'm not going anywhere. I felt bad of having those dreams because it might mean that I didn't have enough faith in him that's why my mind is making those scenarios in my dreams. I guess dreams really do come true.

2. I have a female friend. Who's in America like me. We both have a common close friend in the Philippines that has a girlfriend. This female friend of mine is flirt, not slutty, just friendly flirty. When she got a boyfriend, (maybe I don't know her other male friends) she changed for the better of not wanting attention from other guys like before. I do hope she really stopped wanting attention from others like before. We met recently after 5 years, and she told me that our common friend has been messaging her once in a while. Not hi how are you kinda stuff but a little inappropriate too. And, he's the one messaging he first. Red flag is, they had a little thing before. And his girlfriend doesn't want him talking to her. If it's a friendly gesture, don't say that you have a 'morning wood'. My female friend tells everything to her boyfriend so I'm proud of her about that, meaning she's not guilty of anything.
Men, don't be stupid. If your woman says No, that means No. Not maybe or little. Straight up No. Especially if it involves another lady. Our instincts tells us the right things. Been there done that. 

After my meet up with female friend, I told my then boyfriend her story about our common friend. My Ex is one of the closest friend of that common friend. We all went to highschool together. So my Ex about asked him if he was talking to female friend, he says yeah occasionally. Ex asked again are you sure there's nothing more? He madly said yes I'm sure, don't threaten me with anything about this. 
Just by the way he answered is already a Red Flag. Oh and I forgot to mention that he always deletes their conversation after pwards so his girlfriend wouldn't see it. How freaking moron he is. Dont tell me that a little flirting wouldn't hurt. Because we as women, knows whats up even if you hide it. 
I told my Ex, that our friend is a little bit cheating. Once you started deleting conversations because you don't want your significant other to know that you talked someone at all, Good Luck!

After some time, Ex was asking me jokingly what would I do if he cheated on me. Would I make him explain or not then leave asap. I told him I'll him explain and if didn't buy it, I'll leave. 
We were best friends so thise conversations are usual, we tell each other everything.
Now that I know he was interested in another one when we're still together, THAT'S WHY he's been asking those questions. Of course, there's the fact that he listened to the advices given to him by our 'friends'.

Yep, that's why dreams has meanings and questions are not only curiosity.


Allen said…
Present! I'm reading!
Marecar Anne said…

You have an account here? Guess the female and common friends. Weeeee! :*
Allen said…
No idea sa guy 😢 share please 😎
Marecar Anne said…
You know him. Has a girlfriend and close to my Ex :)

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