"Why are we even together?" (LDR Problems)

In relationships, there will be many times that you will fight. Small things are easy to fix, but as long as you haven't talked/fought about it before, it will become a discussion, or most of the time, fight.
It's different of how people can be courted when in a fight or persuaded and woo to end the argument. Some prefer just talking honestly, material things like peace offering (which is not going to help in my opinion rather than come to a compromise) and other that just really ignore and brush it off under the rug (which is the worst).
My man and I are thousand miles away. I'm in America, he's in the Philippines. Not only the distance sucks but as well as time difference. We are making in work. We broke like I said before but here we are, still fighting. There are so many times that we fight, because of the smallest thing, but it turns big (most of the time because of me) only for the reason that we miss each other. It's so unfair that for others they are taking advantage of the opportunity to be together yet they stay home and be alone rather than with their partner. Well, it's my fault or the universe I guess for me to experience this madness plus for him since he can't stop loving me even though I'm far away.

When it is a big fight, I ask myself "Why are we even together"? When mad, it's really hard to find an answer since we can't be together, physically to just hug each other  and walk the fight together.
Last night, we facetimed. Of course I had to tell him what I want, and same thing from him to me. Just so you know, we are also both really. He has his training on Weekday and cooks and prepares and do laundry at their home. I currently have two jobs and no off day anymore. Most of the time, we are both exhausted to just send messages and tell the other about our day. But, even if this is the case, we know deeply we miss each other and we just understand that whatever we are doing as of now, is going to make a difference in our future. It's for us, sacrifice as you may say. But damn, this situation of not being together is hella hard. I know I say this a lot of time here in my Blog, but just reminding you that don't have any idea about long distance relationship, do not be in one if you don't think it's worth it or you're not happy completely. It's hard. Even for a human being with a huge emotional endurance (like Ted in How I met your mother, said by Lily). :)

We fought after the video chat. I told him you'd rather watch Game of Thrones than talk to me, and when I said I'm going to sleep, you suddenly wanted to talk to me. After a while, when I stating to answer him back, he started watching again. At the end, I'm like what the hell is this. Do you wanna talk to me or not. I texted him and he called, I did not answer. He messaged me that I was confusing him and I called him because I was really getting mad. He did not answer and he texted he's pissed off now. He messaged me a long one, saying what he's thinking, he's tired of training and no rest at home as well and how he miss me. How he needs to work to have some money for us to be together. Damn. My man loves me yet he does not want to get my hopes up about him getting here. Before the argument, I jokingly say (well, kind of not a joke because it's true) for him to come here in America for a vacation. He said yeah sure. Little did I know, that's one of the things giving him pressure.
He told me after the long text, he just needs his quiet time. I did not reply and went to sleep. When I wake up, he did not send me any good morning texts. I didn't text thinking he was already asleep (Of course also the fact that I did not receive anything so why would I send one for him).

Surprisingly,  he texted normally with an apology of how he reacted. I accepted it because I do understand his situation. Or at least I'm trying to, as any relationship need to do.
I told him, just tell me if you want to have a quiet time. Even though I don't understand why, I will try to. We need to talk about the things he wants to (he said he was afraid it was just going to be a fight) and I said, We need to talk about those things even if it will be a fight. We need to overcome it or else it will come back in the future. Face it now so we'll learn NOW not later.
Answer to my question up top? We're together because we want to be together. Even though again, there are so many times it's just easier for the both of us to give up and live our separate ways, we chose this path. I know he's sad (and it might/will happen again that breaking up is the idea, sometimes me as well but I can't break up with him), but we are fighting for this relationship.
As he said, we already had a glimpse of our future in Singapore. I know I make him happy. It's just really difficult when I'm not with him as any relationship would be. I am happy with him. I love him and he truly loves me. No man is going to waste his bachelor years with money for a woman thousand of miles away if he does not love him. We just need to earn more for our future.
We'll make this through.

Bottom line in every fight/sin/fault from/within a partner:
Understand their reasons but Never Justify their actions.


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