Opinion is a Matter of Perspective

Growing up, I got friends who come and go. And when we moved here, from Philippines to America. I left them all. I thought not mentally though only physical. Since then, I've been jealous all the time if they are together. I detached myself from them just to not be attached anymore. I get angry at them for saying no when there is a gathering and one couldn't be just because they are tired. I feel like they are taking things for granted and not appreciating the fact that they are all together. There are things I said to them and I don't want to take them back because that's me. But then, I apologized if I said something to harsh whatsoever, but I don't lie. Maybe sometimes, it;s better to not saying anything? If that's the case then what's the purpose of friendship, being able to say things, opinions truthfully.
I've been defending myself saying I want to push the group away from myself since I don't want to get hurt. My reasoning is that I'm so attached but then it's my fault because they care about me yet I don't want them too. I don't know if I'm so close minded or just because I live in a different world than they are now. Even though we've all been friends since 2007.

I've been sharing my thoughts that I'm this practical bullsh*t who don't ask for things. I work two jobs who lives with my parents. I'm also not like one of those normal people who post selfies in social media to gain confidence or who posts stuff and caption "Please" or "Need to have these" or worsts, "Wish list for Birthday, whatever holidays (even if it's like in months away)". In Instagram I block right away those pages. I always click the See fewer posts like this because I hate needy people. Or those who ask for things that they don't work for. I feel like, you don't need to let everybody know you need this and that. Aren't those things private? Or at least share to your friend personally?
This friend of mine (who I know no longer is because of what I said) is newly broken up and thinking of getting back together with his ex that we all protect, yes from her. Little background, they were together for years and college got in the way (and money pus effort) so they broke up. What sucks is, his current ex boyfriend was hitting on her even when they were together before. This Ex is rich. Has a car, no worries with buying her gifts, treating her into no so cheap restaurants far away.

Fast forward, they are together anymore recently. At first, I don't want her near our friend because it sucks but I found it this Ex is a freaking asshole. Protective side of me, some say aggressive or even WAR FREAK says not let her see that Ex ever. And now the friend of ours and her are thinking of another chance for both of them. I warned our guy friend, whatever he did while they are not together is NONE of her business and she can;t make him guilty for that. I'm trying ti be protective for both of them. I'm just scared that it will come back to point where she will miss those expensive dates, car rides whenever and the effort of Ex because of his luxurious life.
Then yesterday, I went home and I saw her post regarding a planner I think with a caption, "Please."
Without blinking an eye, I was the first to comment and said "Buy one yourself". After few hours, At least six to seven people attacked me that I was harsh. She said what's my problem, I answered you have a problem, you want people to buy you stuff. Then more people was happy to comment about I was not even mentioned in the post and I was a war freak, bad mouth blah blah blah. I'm never going to take out that comment because I don't regret it.

My boyfriend tells me I should've just messaged her personally saying my opinion about it. I argued that he might be right but at the same time, isn't just going to be a more personal attack? Like, Hey, you sound like a spoiled brat on your post. Like that? Please help me I guess on how I can be nicer because I'm just saying what's on my mind I few people will understand that. Two of our other friends messaged me saying if I had a rough night or I have a problem. I both said to them, No I did not have a rough night and I'm okay. Of course both of them are implying my 'harsh' post. One of them is the one who did not go to one of the groups' plan because he's tired. Best part, he didn't even answer. We only knew his reasoning when I posted something 'harsh' again on our group and he got of course hurt hence the explanation of being 'tired' and just not really interested on the groups' plan. He messaged me last night and all I can reply to him are emojis because I don't want to explain myself. Then he told me to screenshot his message and send to friends if I still have some. Ouch right? Good bye Mhanny :) Back story, I apologize to him and all he can say is Ok. I left it on seen and he said if I'm okay with his answer. I said why would you answer something if you don't mean it? That conversation I screenshot and sent to my 'best friend'. And now I know that best friend told him what I did. I hate people who are bailers. If that's not a word, those people who say yes then ditch you and those who abuse other people.

Now back to the she friend who posted the Please part. She messaged my boyfriend, they are best friends saying how she is annoyed by me. Why? Because she was hurt that she sounded like a spoiled brat? Because I was harsh? I don't know. I'd rather her block me completely of everything that see her posts like that. I guess I can unfollower her. Which I will do couple days from now when her awesome friends that make her spoil her self and post it on social media stops praising my amazing comment.
That's why I don't do Facebook much anymore. I see people asking for attention rather than appreciating the technology as a way to reach to others far away. To not take things for granted. To work for what you want. To know what's like to sweat and have pressure in you to make enough and spend it on something you like. I remember myself posting my car three years ago, that I didn't ask whatsoever and earned from hard earned money. Please never think I'm boasting, I'm not. I'm just trying to make you understand why I would say or think such a thing. So yeah, if you don't know me personally and you see my comment to her post, you'd think I'm a dick. Maybe I am, and that's fine. That's my opinion, I guess a bad one :)


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