Absorb and Let it Flow Naturally

Last Monday, a lot of things crossed my mind. During the day, I heard the term 'you're just lazy'. I kind of took it personally because I was kind of lazy going for my walk at lunch which I typically do if there's no rain. I got that habit from a good friend of mine and coworker. It was drizzling back and forth Monday but nothing huge and alarming. So around 1100 I think, she walked up to me and said 'are we walking?'. I said no, since I was already at my lunch, watching youtube videos. I know it's bad compare to my walk but I was thinking it was raining so I gave her that excuse and she told me her quote up top. Then I answered 'hey, I'm not lazy I work out'. And I did that afternoon after work since that's my usual routine. I know she didn't mean it completely the worst but I hate those little comments and it jus made me realize that I kind of stop because of the rain. Tuesday, Wednesday, & Thursday (today) I did walk at my lunch.
On the way to Terri Peak in Lake Perris, CA
Another moment beside that on Monday, is I was told on what needs to be done on a part of my job. As always I want to be better at it but there are times when I feel like I'm being nitpicked. Probably because I'm one of the youngest and haven't had any experience prior to this (almost 3 years only). I took it professionally and asked others of how they think. All of them says disregard what that particular person said. But before I asked everyone I trust about it, I can't stop myself but feel so stupid.
As a normal woman (I'd like to think so), monthly problems when it comes to emotions occur. Not only that but the obvious one is physical. Since mine is coming up soon, I have visitors in my face. Hence, feeling so ugly. These are the three things I've felt Monday. I'm fat. I'm ugly. I'm stupid. You know what happened that afternoon? I let it sinked in and see what I can do about it. I worked out after work and though to myself, I know my body is not perfect but I'm not letting it rot. I try to eat healthier and workout regularly. Next, my face? Let's put on a mask and exfoliate. What a feeling afterwards. So smooth, such good skin even though I still have the bumps but whatever. I need to learn and get better? No worries. There's always room for improvement and as long as I am not repeating the same mistakes I'm doing in work, that means I'm aiming to really be better and may attention to details.

Today, I stressing out too much on the things I can't control. First, I was mad at the dealership I got my SUV because they promised something at the end and it's been four months and I still haven't got it. Second, we are trying to do an activity and it keeps getting cancelled due to the weather. I tried making a last minute schedule for tomorrow and they said they are full. Understandable. But of course, my emotions got to me and asked to try to squeezed us in since we're getting tired rescheduling again and again. I was pouting almost all afternoon because things just won't go my way. Few hours later, my energy was almost 1%.. I received a call from dealership saying it might arrive 1-2 weeks! I thank him fully saying as least now there's a timeline for the promise. It sucks to be feeling you've been forgotten. Then a little more later, I got another call for our activity tomorrow and they did squeeze us in!! Hopefully what I'll post next time is that activity finally happening.

You see? All of my problems were solved. Well, not so much but it's like that less I have control I get more stressed. That's the lesson. Don't stress on something you can't control. I know I already posted something smilier to this lesson when we were in the process of having my now husband from Philippines to USA. Thank you Lord for giving answered to my priority questions. Thank you to myself for knowing myself enough to know what's making my bitchy. That's one of the things I'm proud of. I know myself enough. You should to. It makes it easier figuring how to solve your everyday problem :)


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