Life Update 2020. I let it go. Which sucks but must be done.

Sup blog. Been a while. Got tired of putting up some posts here since I am fairly active in my YouTube channel and I feel like it's a bit redundant having to share my thoughts and experience here then have it recorded and posted on another platform. But since this time it's not a fun day outside amidst pandemic, I want to let my feelings out to make myself breathe a little better. Hi, how are you? Hope you are doing well. I am doing amazing and happy everyday. Due to my husband, my parents, our dog, our little home, my husband's family and the Philippines, pretty much the closest to me are safe and sound. With that said, once in a while I do get paranoid because of this pandemic. Should we be careful 100 %? When do we stop living because we were told to do so?? Hm. I am getting off topic of what I wanted to share. Point is, wear a mask, wash your hands, use hand sanitizer every time you go out and just don't be freaking stubborn when places ask you to do social distancing let alone the masks.

This will be a novel if I try to tell how we were since February. If you want a quick summary, please head to my channel and it'll tell you what we've been up to since the world was shaken by this virus. Fast forward to after my July... Oh crap, I didn't even post about the fact that I quit my 4 year job back in May. I flew to my parents down in SoCal and quit the next day because they won't give me any raise even f my numbers were good and review was overall great. So I quit back in May, found a job - lasted 7 working days. Lots of reasons why but irrelevant. Found another opportunity (felt bad about leaving the other but I had to follow my guts and grateful to my husband that supported me along the way) and excited every day to go to work. May I remind you, I was working 100% remotely in my 4 year career. Month after I quit, my old manager keeps telling me to reconsider. After back and forth with raise and me only working part time - I went back and officially started around my birthday late in July.

Now that you are kind of caught up in my life, I am working 2 jobs. Happily married and beyond blessed in my everyday life. My parents are quite settled (still not with debt, don't know when they will learn) and enjoying experiences in the best way they can. Husband got promoted (without any raise) but he said his work load got lesser so he ain't asking for more except experience - what a man! Our gym closed back in March just like the world did so I coped up working out from home continuing my new year resolution of minimum 4 days a week. When my full time job gets exhausting plus my part time when I get home - my eyes takes the most toll of all. Screen after screen, from waking up before closing my eyes to bed. And my leisure time? Video games. If not? Editing videos on my laptop. Second to my eyes? Hands. Some tingling once in a while can be felt. Another problem? If I rest, I will feel bad and tell my husband I'm so unproductive. Then he scolds me saying I freaking deserve to do so. I am cared for in so many ways. Career wise, family wise, and in marriage.

After three long paragraphs, I am really going to try tell you why I wrote this post today. Those people that are close to me knows how extreme I am when it comes to budgeting, scheduling and what not. I know where all my cents go and if I am charged  even a dollar unfairly? I will take my time and contest that. For some reason, I completely missed out on my SUV's renewal. I found out today and men oh men, I kept stopping my tears from falling down here at work. I keep texting my husband how stupid I feel for missing it and had to pay for late fee of $68.00. I asked my parents if they got the mail and my mama said they did and sent it to me months ago. I completely believe her and kind of remembering a part of it and most likely really just me forgetting about it. I hate myself for it and really can't do anything about it. After hours of feeling bad, I just paid it. I am not going to trick the DMV of saying I did not get the notice because first and foremost, it is my responsibility to track and renew it before it expires. The notice is just a courtesy from DMV to help people out. After paying the amount plus the late fee, I put it on my calendar 1 month before it expires and alarms yearly. For my vehicle and it with my husband's. I am the one that tells people don't forget! And here we are, I forgot.

Point of this update - we all make mistakes. Me, the freaking over the top with money - missed it. I am not saying for people to not have any accountability but it's life. Real life with real pandemic going on. I am not blaming this because of that but sh*t happens no matter how perfect you planned it to be. My husband and I enjoyed are time since new year's in the gym (almost 5 days a week) but stopped in March. Can't do anything about it. I can keep the grudge to myself because of myself or I can just pay the f*cking fee and move on with my life. Why the hell am I working 2 jobs if I can't pay these mistakes of mine once in a while.. It is what it is.

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